the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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