Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He has the fingertips of a God
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