lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
