I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
