I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize