pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
