I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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