put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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