weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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