i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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