What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
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