I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
