all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
