Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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