btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Dignity is for republicans.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
