Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
