It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
