why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
