I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
