I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Randomize
