Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
