ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
