i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
