at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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