my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
