I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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