Soap is not a condiment
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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