I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
