Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
