SEEEEXXX PLEASE
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I wear drunk well.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
