IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
