you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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