whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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