She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
