well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
