I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
