I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize