i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
