just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
