Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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