I can tuck mytits in my pants
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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