When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
