i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize