Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
