Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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