If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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