I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
