Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
We're too hungover to prance.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
