READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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