do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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