we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
