My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
