Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
