You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
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