OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Randomize
