At least make sure they are 18
Why
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
