Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Ladies don't puke and tell
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
