Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
