she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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